Wednesday, January 18, 2012
La ti da
Bills paid...coffee drank...phone calls made. Now what? I really don't know. Pondering some ideas...maybe I'll get back here later with some better thoughts on the matters of the day.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Miles to go before I sleep...
It's a little before 8 a.m. and I'm thinking "there are miles to go before I sleep." I don't mean before I go back to bed, I mean before I die. I don't know how much time I have left here, none of us do. I could be gone before I finish this blog or I could be around another 40 years. Although, I'm highly doubtful I'll make it 40 years, you get the idea. So, where do I have to go? Italy, Spain, Australia? No...I'm talking about my life's journey....my time with my family, my goals and accomplishments, my spiritual journey, my mental and emotional journey....just life.
What am I going to do about ______________? I could fill in this blank with a plethora of nouns. I'm going to make (or try harder) each day count a little more. Use my time a little more wisely. Leave a footprint a little deeper in the muck and mud as I traverse through this life. I love the quote on life, though I'm not for whom to attribute it, "I plan to skid in sideways, my body totally worn out! Chocolate in one hand, glass of wine in the other, smiling ear to ear, hooting "WOO HOO! What a RIDE!"
I find myself re-examining my choices especially in careers. I went into education to make a difference and for about three years I did. I've been unemployed as a teacher longer than I've been employed and I can't help but wonder if it was the right choice to begin with. Was it what God wanted me to do in my life? I don't know, I didn't ask him. I was pushed in that direction a little bit. But ultimately I made the decision to become a teacher. Am I good at it? I'm not good at being overly stern with my students. I'm more of a counselor. I feel (and I've always had the desire) that I should have gone into the field of psychiatry and blend the Love of Jesus with counseling those in need. Not to make a ton of money, though that would be nice, but to help people get past the obstacles in life and cope....maybe help them see the importance of loving others and loving themselves. Most of us have had some difficulty in both areas.
Perhaps that's a whole other blog or series of blogs. For now...I'll leave it. Just some thoughts oozing from my brain today. The day's not over yet, so maybe I'll ooze a few more thoughts later on. Love and Peace to all.
What am I going to do about ______________? I could fill in this blank with a plethora of nouns. I'm going to make (or try harder) each day count a little more. Use my time a little more wisely. Leave a footprint a little deeper in the muck and mud as I traverse through this life. I love the quote on life, though I'm not for whom to attribute it, "I plan to skid in sideways, my body totally worn out! Chocolate in one hand, glass of wine in the other, smiling ear to ear, hooting "WOO HOO! What a RIDE!"
I find myself re-examining my choices especially in careers. I went into education to make a difference and for about three years I did. I've been unemployed as a teacher longer than I've been employed and I can't help but wonder if it was the right choice to begin with. Was it what God wanted me to do in my life? I don't know, I didn't ask him. I was pushed in that direction a little bit. But ultimately I made the decision to become a teacher. Am I good at it? I'm not good at being overly stern with my students. I'm more of a counselor. I feel (and I've always had the desire) that I should have gone into the field of psychiatry and blend the Love of Jesus with counseling those in need. Not to make a ton of money, though that would be nice, but to help people get past the obstacles in life and cope....maybe help them see the importance of loving others and loving themselves. Most of us have had some difficulty in both areas.
Perhaps that's a whole other blog or series of blogs. For now...I'll leave it. Just some thoughts oozing from my brain today. The day's not over yet, so maybe I'll ooze a few more thoughts later on. Love and Peace to all.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Life is too short...
Okay, since I last posted life has changed dramatically. I did finish and my MAE and passed the exam. I still couldn't get a job in even the most remote, backwoods schools. According to them, I wasn't qualified. Seriously, it wasn't like anyone was breaking down the doors to make 10K less a year than all the surrounding school districts. I had my licensure /certifications + some. However, I wasn't raised there and I didn't really know anyone. In other words...no political connections. Ability has little to do with teaching or any other job apparently (I'm discovering this more and more). I moved nearly 400 miles north to be close to and eventually care for my mother and step-father. I had a part-time job for a while and quit. My fiance' had what we thought was a good job, but there were some shady "goings-on." So, now we're both unemployed...making a house payment and living the American nightmare /dream. Which is cool. We'll make it. We always do.
Now...for years I've struggled with religion. I've been a member of numerous churches, taught, counseled, and even preached a few (yes, I'm a southern woman and no...it didn't always go over real well with the men folk). Even in the period when I was highly active in the church...I never felt good enough, never felt I belonged. But reflecting on myself and my life, I've found the reason I felt that was (and still do) is because I'm not a groupie. I'm not a follower of man. I cringe when people pass judgment....and even worse...I made myself sick by becoming the type of person who was constantly mentally and sometimes openly criticizing others and attempting to do God's job. It's like this...God knows all about me...all about you. He doesn't need us pointing out each other's faults. We have a greater purpose. Love thy neighbor as thyself...in short...love you old neighbor, young neighbor, ugly neighbor, alcoholic neighbor, crackhead neighbor, hooker neighbor, LGBT neighbor, black, asian, white, atheist, agnostic, muslim, buddhist, etc..etc..neighbor. Don't get your panties in a bunch...I'm not saying you have to love or even like what they do. You don't have to agree with them...but you do have to love them. Pray for them...pray that God will bless them and help them. Don't pray damnation down upon them....because all you're doing is being an self-righteous hypocritical asshole and yes...God knows that too. And don't think it won't come back to bite in the rumproast. I'm not perfect. Not even close. I'm a pain for God to deal with really. I mean I've had temper tantrums, doubted God, cursed, screamed and kicked through some messes....when it was so very unnecessary. But, it's like this....I love my children and I might get highly irritated with them from time to time. But I would die for them. Guess what? God gets highly irritated with us too..but He still loves us. He even did one better....He gave us his only son to die in our place so we could live forever with them both...not to mention the Holy Spirit...that beautiful spirit of God that guides us ..never leaves us.
I too have forgotten that in the darkest hour, His presence is greatest. I will probably forget again. I am, after all, a mere human with numerous faults.
Anyway, I'm just thinking about things today and trying to get back on track. I'm trying to find my way just like everyone else.
Now...for years I've struggled with religion. I've been a member of numerous churches, taught, counseled, and even preached a few (yes, I'm a southern woman and no...it didn't always go over real well with the men folk). Even in the period when I was highly active in the church...I never felt good enough, never felt I belonged. But reflecting on myself and my life, I've found the reason I felt that was (and still do) is because I'm not a groupie. I'm not a follower of man. I cringe when people pass judgment....and even worse...I made myself sick by becoming the type of person who was constantly mentally and sometimes openly criticizing others and attempting to do God's job. It's like this...God knows all about me...all about you. He doesn't need us pointing out each other's faults. We have a greater purpose. Love thy neighbor as thyself...in short...love you old neighbor, young neighbor, ugly neighbor, alcoholic neighbor, crackhead neighbor, hooker neighbor, LGBT neighbor, black, asian, white, atheist, agnostic, muslim, buddhist, etc..etc..neighbor. Don't get your panties in a bunch...I'm not saying you have to love or even like what they do. You don't have to agree with them...but you do have to love them. Pray for them...pray that God will bless them and help them. Don't pray damnation down upon them....because all you're doing is being an self-righteous hypocritical asshole and yes...God knows that too. And don't think it won't come back to bite in the rumproast. I'm not perfect. Not even close. I'm a pain for God to deal with really. I mean I've had temper tantrums, doubted God, cursed, screamed and kicked through some messes....when it was so very unnecessary. But, it's like this....I love my children and I might get highly irritated with them from time to time. But I would die for them. Guess what? God gets highly irritated with us too..but He still loves us. He even did one better....He gave us his only son to die in our place so we could live forever with them both...not to mention the Holy Spirit...that beautiful spirit of God that guides us ..never leaves us.
I too have forgotten that in the darkest hour, His presence is greatest. I will probably forget again. I am, after all, a mere human with numerous faults.
Anyway, I'm just thinking about things today and trying to get back on track. I'm trying to find my way just like everyone else.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Oh dear...
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Karma's a bitch
A woman scorned....
Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned or humiliated.
If they only knew the fire that burned within her. They would kill themselves rather than suffer the karma she had for them. Death would be too easy...there would not be enough justice in letting them simply die. They must suffer for her pain. For their sins.
They laughed careless, unknowingly at her ...poking fun at her misfortune. Not for long.
Hannah...Joan...Mark....Clara made a mental note of each and imagined with great detail the suffering each would have inflicted upon them. What would hurt most?
Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned or humiliated.
If they only knew the fire that burned within her. They would kill themselves rather than suffer the karma she had for them. Death would be too easy...there would not be enough justice in letting them simply die. They must suffer for her pain. For their sins.
They laughed careless, unknowingly at her ...poking fun at her misfortune. Not for long.
Hannah...Joan...Mark....Clara made a mental note of each and imagined with great detail the suffering each would have inflicted upon them. What would hurt most?
Monday, December 20, 2010
Slay Ride
She stashed the brightly colored boxes in the back of the closet and sprinted up the stairs, tossing her coat to the floor. "I'm going to be late!" she murmured. She grabbed a robe and headed to the bathroom..." A quick shower- "
He had slipped in through the slightly ajar door. Rushing to not be late, Susan didn't realize she'd left it open. The coroner listest her time of death at around 6:30 p.m.; an hour before the art gallery Christmas fundraiser and showing of the hottest new artist in town. She had planned every aspect, ensuring that her wealthiest and most influential clients would be there. She persuaded Chef Jean-Pierre to handle the food. He was impossible to get for an event as he was booked solid 2 years in advance. Susan could be quite persuasive and even agreed to host an event in his honor for free. Another gig she'd have to work magic on or go broke trying.
Everyone loved her....well, almost everyone. Someone held enough contempt to mutilate her body after shooting her in the head. She was laid out in pieces, creating a circle with her head in the center....eyes wide open and a christmas bow placed on top. Mistletoe was jammed in her throat and pine scented candles burned around her. There was a message here...but what?
He had slipped in through the slightly ajar door. Rushing to not be late, Susan didn't realize she'd left it open. The coroner listest her time of death at around 6:30 p.m.; an hour before the art gallery Christmas fundraiser and showing of the hottest new artist in town. She had planned every aspect, ensuring that her wealthiest and most influential clients would be there. She persuaded Chef Jean-Pierre to handle the food. He was impossible to get for an event as he was booked solid 2 years in advance. Susan could be quite persuasive and even agreed to host an event in his honor for free. Another gig she'd have to work magic on or go broke trying.
Everyone loved her....well, almost everyone. Someone held enough contempt to mutilate her body after shooting her in the head. She was laid out in pieces, creating a circle with her head in the center....eyes wide open and a christmas bow placed on top. Mistletoe was jammed in her throat and pine scented candles burned around her. There was a message here...but what?
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